Well, we’ve been waiting all week for it (at least I know *I* have) and now it’s only several hours away.  The May Long weekend officially kicks off for me at about 5pm today. 

This weekend’s gonna’ be a blast.  Tonight I have no solid plans.  I might just take it easy tonight and then tomorrow do some fishing with a couple of friends. 

Sunday of course is official cruise night kickoff and you’ll find me down at Phat Ride Customs on 511 Madison street for a pre-show barbecue.  After that we’ll roll out to the Pony Corral on Grant Avenue and perch a few of the cars for the first Pony Corral Fabulous 50’s weekly show-n-shine.  Then, we’ll head down to Rexall Drugs on Portage and Sherbrook for a coffee and to watch cars get pulled over like crazy. 

Can’t wait!

For years I’ve secretly hated those hypey sales letters that promise huge amounts of money for little or no effort. I’ve watched people chase Online wealth for years. They spend a fortune on these so-called systems trying to get rich from the comfort of their own homes. I’ve seen people at the edge of bankruptcy still avoiding getting a job and earning a steady paycheck choosing instead to run ads wherever they can promoting this garbage. They claim they can teach you how to earn thousands of dollars a day with a system when they themselves haven’t two nickels to rub together and haven’t the faintest clue how the system even works. If they invested as much time and money into getting some marketable work skills, they might already have an enjoyable career they can be proud of and the financial independence they’ve been chasing. Instead, they sink dollar after dollar promoting one revolutionary new system after another slowly driving them and worse yet, their families into poverty. Pathetic.

If you’ve ever believed any of these types of systems could bring you wealth, I have one you’ll enjoy. Here’s my tongue-in-cheek stab at those “Turnkey Systems Guaranteed to Make You Wealthy In Just XX Days” If this offends you, you’re probably part of the problem.

Learn the Exact Step by Step Methods I Use Every Day to Make Over $400.00 a Week!

Using Joe Smith’s System in just 30 days I was able to finally start paying my bills and saving for a home. I even had enough left over to start saving money for a car. Thanks Joe! Your system REALLY works!”

Ed Daman - Vancouver, BC

Dear Friend:

My Name is Joe Smith. Just like you, for years I was in search of that thing we all yearn for and spend a lifetime trying to obtain. You guessed it…Money.

I tried everything. Believe me. I signed up for online courses that promised I would earn money, I promoted other so-called-guru’s systems hoping I would eventually make the fortune I knew I deserved. I blogged and networked, I talked to every family member, friend, and stranger about moneymaking systems I was promoting but none of them ever bought anything, nothing ever worked, and I never earned a dime…until now.

Enough Is Enough!

One day I decided that enough was enough and I that if I was going to succeed, I needed to develop my own system for making money. 2 years ago I began studying successful people who earn $350 to $400.00 a week at least and after years of analysis and research, I finally discovered how they started earning a steady income in just two short weeks using only a computer, an email account, and a few hours of my time.

Today I OWN my own home and vehicle so I no longer have to live in my parent’s basement or use their car. Using these methods, I was also able to finally find a girl who would actually date me. WOW!

Me and My New Car

Now I want to share that secret with you now…for FREE!

My proven system will help you earn enough money so you can:

• Take a vacation with your family
• Never worry about bills again
• Buy that car you’ve been dreaming about
• Get those creditors off your back
• Keep your friends from talking behind your back because of the money you owe them.

Now, are you ready to learn the secret system that the real income earners don’t want you to know?

The 5-Step Work & Save System

My easy to learn and use Work and Save System includes everything you need to earn money no matter who you are. High School Dropout? Single Parent? Criminal Record? No problem. My 3-step Work & Save System includes a list of several job search sites in Canada and the U.S. that display jobs for every walk of life. Want to buy something more expensive like a car or a 42” Plasma TV? No problem. With the 5-Step Work & Save System you can use software programs already installed in your computer like Microsoft Excel to create a money-saving budget that will show you exactly how much you need to put away of your new income so you can save for whatever you want…AND buy it!

How the 5-Step System Works

Basically it works like this:

1. Write a resume, apply for and get a job
2. Work just 8 hours a day for only 5 to 6 days a week
3. Pick up your paycheck and cash your check
4. Put 15% Away in your bank account each time you earn a check
5. Pay your bills immediately

That’s it. In 12 to 24 months, you’ll have enough money saved to afford something sweet. Not to mention, you’ll never have to worry about creditors ever calling you again for money you owe them. Many customers have even told me they’ve found meaningful relationships just weeks after implementing my 5-step process!

“ Not only was I able to start earning an honest income but I was finally able to take a girl on a date for the first time without having her laugh at my income, or lack of it. Long story short, we’ve been dating now for over 6 months and she’s talking about us moving in together. That’s us in the picture. Thanks Joe!”

Melvin Winner
Toronto, Ontario

My Personal Ironclad Guarantee: If at any time you think the 5-Step Work & Save system is not for you, just contact me and I’ll personally call your parents and beg them to let you return home so you can resume your old life, no questions asked.

Even though my system is free, you have to act fast because in some areas jobs are limited. You’ll have to apply for a job in the next 24 hours. Ready to start making some money? Great…

Take me to Workopolis Now to Find a Job!

Disclaimer: The advice contained in this article is in no way meant to completely defend you from becoming the victim of an email scam. The suggestions in this article are meant solely to assist you in identifying possible email scams. It is your responsibility to contact all parties involved including the local authorities if necessary to confirm the authenticity of any suspicious email you receive. I am not responsible for any damages you may suffer as a result of following these suggestions and not investigating fully the authenticity of suspicious emails you may encounter.

1. The Nigerian Email Scam

Regardless of the country or characters involved in this financial fairy tale, the idea is the same behind each one and none of them ever have a happy ending. A prince, daughter of a king, heir to a fortune or some other character contacts you out of the blue and tells you a large sum of money is being held for some reason. They plead for your assistance and discretion to transfer the money to a North American Bank account. In exchange, you’ll receive a meager percentage for your assistance which usually amounts to a few million US Dollars. In order to release the funds, you’re asked to send small amounts of money in advance to process papers, file applications (all bogus by the way) that quickly add up until you finally get suspicous. Eventually you just never hear from the scammer again.

2. The Major Banking Institution Scam

A masterful forgery of the original banking institution’s login page is created for you to log into and then an email is sent out to thousands of email addresses informing you that changes in policy or a loss of data requires you to log in and update your personal information. You log into the forged login page and scammers use this information to log into your real account and drain it dry.

3. The Cheap Loan Scam

The purpose behind this scam ranges from simple credit card number theft to full out identity theft. You get an email from a company specializing in low-interest, short-term loans. When you click the link, you go to a website where you’re asked to fill out a short form. Happily, you divulge all necessary information to do a credit application on you which also includes everything the scammer needs to take out loans, apply for credit cards, and make purchases in your name.

4. The Free Trip Scam

This one is generally benign in the sense that your identity won’t be stolen or your bank account emptied but it still is a scam designed to make you part with your money willingly…at least, in the beginning. This scam has been used by even reputable companies to lure victims into situations where they can be conned, hounded, harassed, and in some cases bullied into spending additional money. A cruise package for example may be free but every amenity, beverage, meal, and outing costs a horrendous amount of money.

9 Ways to Spot an Email Scam

Most email scams can be detected with just a little common sense when reading a suspicious email. However, email scams have become increasingly sophisticated over the years and even some of the most technically savvy people fall victim to them from time to time. Websites engaging in scam practices look professionally designed, reputable, and in many cases identical to the organization they’re trying to mimic. When faced with any email, look for these warning signs:

1. You’ve never heard of the company who’s sending you the message before.
2. The email doesn’t disclose how this company came by your email address.
3. The email asks you to perform a risky, suspicious, or sensitive action such as logging into your account, clicking a link, sending money, or divulging private information like a social security number or credit card.
4. The email does not have your first name and/or last name.
5. Links don’t link to the company they say they are. If you’re asked to log into your CIBC account but when you hover your mouse over the link it points to http://login.loans.cibc.cn (which would likely be an address in China), don’t click the link. Report it right away to your bank.
6. Heavily Discounted Merchandise or services which would normally cost a considerable amount. If you’re not taken by a request to send only a few dollars to reserve your spot in the beginning, you’ll probably get bullied into paying a large sum of money for something you didn’t want in the end.
7. The email does not have an address listed anywhere on the email.
8. A Google Search of [Company Name] and “Scam” turns up reports of scams.
9. A subject line that contains a name which could be a user name you’ve used elsewhere.

All in all, with a little common sense and some good old-fashioned intuition, it’s simple enough to detect a scam email. If an email trips one or more of the indicators listed above it’s highly probable that this is a scam email. Hopefully, you never fall victim to one of these scams. I have a few friends that did.

This little gem was forwarded to me by a friend of mine years ago. I thought I might share it with the rest of you. Here’s a little taste, the rest is on this guy’s website. You’ll kill yourself laughing and probably have to change your underwear after.

More crappy children’s art work

The premise: I can draw better, spell better, and run faster than your kids. So being that my skills are obviously superior to those of children, I’ve taken the liberty to judge art work done by other kids on the internet. I’ll be assigning a grade A through F for each piece:

Ding Ding! Here comes the shit-mobile. I’ve never seen a fire truck that needed to be shaved. I would rather be burned to death than be saved by this hairy piece of shit. F

You can check out the rest of these masterpieces here:

http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=irule

This is what happens when I get left alone with my brain. I think of really odd stuff. Don’t get me wrong here, I’m not insulting computer geeks, hell I AM one and have been for years. I just started thinking of all the dead giveaways that show the world you’re a geek and decided to put them down.

If you, your loved ones, or friends can relate to 3 or more of these, congratulations. You’re a Computer Geek.

1. The Mouse Callous – Every veteran computer geek has a callous under their mouse hand just above the wrist which is thicker depending on how many years they’ve been geeks. I’m sure if I had placed an odometer on it years ago, it would probably have the same mileage as a car built in 1954 by now because it’s about as thick as tree bark.
2. Corrective Eye Wear – From years upon years of staring at a CRT at 60 hz refresh, I’ve ended up having to correct my degrading vision with lenses or corrective surgery of some kind. My glasses can stop a bullet.
3. Frequent Computer-Oriented References – You’ve used the phrase “3.5 inch floppy” in a sexual reference more than once. Don’t lie.
4. Over Consumption of Caffeine – Most people drink 2 cups of coffee per day on average. We consume 20 or more. On my desk, it’s not uncommon to spot a fully brewed pot…oddly enough, still in the pot. What the hell, it has a handle and a spout so it works just like a giant mug anyway right? I just pop the crème and sugar right in.
5. Gadgets Galore – We computer geeks LOVE gadgets. Everything from rearview mirrors for our monitors to sunglasses that have built-in mp3 players and Bluetooth handsfree. If you spot any of these on your friends and loved ones, chances are, they’re too far gone and their transformation into a Technosexual is nearly complete.
6. Geek Shirts Are Funny – If you remember this on the Simpsons: “C:/DOS, C:/DOS RUN, RUN DOS RUN” and you found it funny, God help you.
7. Role Playing is Normal - You log into your favorite MMORPG every Friday Night to have a few drinks with your friends in the local watering hole and kill a few mobs later on. Chances are, you found the Southpark WoW episode REALLY funny. I know I did.
8. Multiple Instant Messenger Programs Running Simultaneously – AIM, MSN, Yahoo, GTalk, ICQ (Is that even still around?), and one or two of the more obscure ones run 24/7 in your system tray. They’re like a text-based answering machine because when someone sends you a message and you’re not there, they automatically reply with “I’m currently away from my computer…” but you’re not REALLY away…are you?
9. Ultra High Speed Internet Connection - You brag to your friends that you can download every episode of Star Trek in 4 seconds flat. You have a fiber optic tube running out of your home/basement the diameter and length of the Lincoln Tunnel.
10. Multiple Computers and Electronic Gadgets in the Home all Networked and Internet Enabled – This is the single biggest identifier of a computer geek known to man. Every room in the home has a computer of some kind and has access to the internet. Even your gadgets are internet-enabled like your TV, Fridge, and home theatre system which streams music from the internet to your pc and then over WiFi network to its receiver. Your toilet flushes itself after you’re done, your dog has a GPS Collar, you can communicate with your car (and it with you) using your cellphone/PDA, and just about every function from drawing the drapes to watering your lawn is controlled by voice command.

February 12, 2008 it was… 

8:00 AM - Clear, light blowing snow

9:30 AM - Cloudy, lots of blowing snow, almost a blizzard.  Figure I’ll have to shovel my way out of my parking space at work.

12:00 PM - No change.  Still cloudy and snowing but beginning to taper off slightly.

2:30 PM - Sunny.  No clouds.  No snow.  Milder temperature. 

WTF?

I think this had been done before but holy HELL this is funny.

More here: http://www.aclevercookie.com/rap-lyrics-explained-with-charts-and-graphs

I like Microsoft. I really don’t care what anyone says. It really hasn’t done anything bad (that I can see) to me and in fact, many of their tools I use every day to to my job effectively and make my living. (Excel, Word, IE, Windows XP etc.)

I don’t normally spout anti-microsoft crap but this one I really do have to question. It appears that Mega-Software Giant Microsoft has applied for a Mind Reading Patent. Yeah, I know it sounds pretty “out there” but it’s the honest truth. Here it is on the U.S. Patent office website. Check out the application details.

Your thoughts on the subject? I’m curious. This is SO Big Brother’ish and I can’t stand conspiracy theorists. Too much time on their hands.

Every day I find more and more evidence that the web is a cesspool of misinformation.  I came across this post today and since this is what I do for a living (except I do it the correct and ethical way), I just had to blog this one.  I get a little irked when I see this kind of thing because it’s idiots like this passing out garbage information trying to make a quick buck that gives the SEO (Search Engine Optimization) and SEM (Search Engine Marketing) industries such a bad rap.  This is his/her post in a forum.  In the spirit of professionalism I removed his/her name, position, and company.  I’ve placed some of my comments in-line with the post. 

*** Begin Post *** 

My name is [ REMOVED ].  I used to be an [ REMOVED ] at [ REMOVED ] I recently started a search engine optimization business. It helps you to score higher in the search engines such as yahoo and google. It has a free 30 day trial.

My Comments: Note he/she has left out MSN and Ask.com who still have a small share of the search queries performed every day.

You can put your website in a search engine submitter for free that will send your website to 300 search engines and 700,000 classified ads every day. It iwll greatly increase traffic to your website. You can change the addresses in it and try it for all your addresses for 30 days. There is no credit card required it is free to join for 30 days.

My Comments: Okay, sending your site to search engines has not been necessary for the last several years since search engines started “Crawling” the web automatically on their own.  700,000 classified ads?  He or she has got to be joking.  The search term “Classified Ads” doesn’t even show up in the top searches performed on search engines.  Who looks at these anymore?  They’re hotbeds for spammers. 

There is also an affiliate program that pays you 30% commission and 10% on affiliate under you. You recieve free training, ads and banners. They give you an affiliate link that you can put on your websites, posts, or emails and make money on a monthly basis. All you do is tell people they can try this program for free for one month and if they decide to buy it for $20.00 per month then you make $6.00 per month on every person. If you get 10 people you make $60.00 per month and if you get 100 people you make $600.00 per month.

My Comments: Look at his/her first paragraph and then look at the last one.  Tell me if you can spot a connection. 

I got all of my signups from this social group

[ LINK REMOVED ]

The website is [ LINK REMOVED ]

If you have any questions…

 *** End Post ***

Let’s go over what he/she has missed or misinformed readers about:

1) Search Engines do not need you to submit your website anymore.  Get a wordpress or squidoo account, start a blog or a lens and link to your website from it.  When the major search engines crawl your blog/lens they’ll follow the link to your website and start indexing its pages in their database for display in the search results.  Bottom Line: Site Submission to search engines died years ago and you should never pay for such a service. 

2) He/She fails to mention the power of inbound links.  Inbound Links (links to your website from other websites) are by and large one of the largest factors when it comes to upping your rank, especially for Google. 

3) A Monthly Fee for what?  I sincerely hope that this isn’t a fee to continuously and automatically submit a client website to the major search engines.  If it is, this is probably one of the quickest ways to get your domain banned and dropped from the search engines altogether.  Search Engines HATE automated submissions and queries; especially if they happen multiple times.  It’s like a ‘nobody’ hammering away at the door to a very exclusive party.  Eventually, the host is gonna’ get P.O.’d and call the cops. 

4) “I used to be a ____ at ____.  I’ve recently started  a search engine optimization business”.  Ok, let’s rewrite that statement with ficitional occupations filled in:  “I used to be a mechanic at XYZ Garage.  I’ve recently started a medical practice…”  Yeah, THERE’S a doctor with street credibility.   

Maybe this post is littered with negativity.  Please forgive me, it’s 3am and I have to be at my desk in about 6 hours so I’m tired and maybe just a bit cranky but if you take nothing else away from this post, remember this: Good search engine marketers don’t just “start a business”.  Search Engine Marketing is not a turn-key type of industry.  Good search engine rankings are a direct result of holistic, measured, and continuous effort to build quality incoming links to your website, optimize your content for visitors and search engines alike, and make your site as easy as possible for search engines to access and index.  Like anything else in life, there’s no magic bullet. 

/rant

Just after the first snowfall, I made my way down to the local Wal-Mart to purchase a snow brush.  If you’ve never experienced snow or have only seen very little, here in Winnipeg, the trusty snow brush is a commuter’s best friend. 

After looking at all the options, I decided on a Folding model made by Oskar that expanded to a broom-style brush and then collapsed into a toothbrush form with the push of a button and a quick sliding motion.  The broom mode would make it easy to clear a lot of snow in very little time I figured.  At just under $19.00 CDN, I thought this would be a good quality brush.  Boy, was I wrong.  Not only was it cumbersome and rickety to use, after a week’s use, it broke!  Did I mention the ice scraper at the other end of the brush scraped lines making my windshield look more like a grille rather than a clean windshield.  I probably could have taken it back for a refund or exchange (We all know how easy it is to return stuff to Wal-Mart even without a receipt) but I decided to take it as a lesson learned. 

Oskar Snow Brush I bought

At the same time I bought my brush, I bought a $3.97 CDN mini-snowbrush for my aunt’s car.  Since she’s a tiny woman, a mini brush was the clear choice.  For a 4 dollar brush from some obscure manufacturer, this little thing was a workhorse.  The bristles of the brush were tough enough to clear even the most tightly packed snowfall like a snow plough.  I was able to brush away a 2″ layer easily; something I couldn’t even finish with the $19 Oskar BECAUSE IT BROKE!  The scraper sheared away frost from my windshield like it was being melted off.  I found it difficult to believe that this was a budget brush.

Moral of the story: Just because something costs more doesn’t necessarily mean it’s more expensive…especially when it comes to snow brushes!

Addendum: Oskar doesn’t even have a website I can link to!  You’d think such a prominent company would at least invest in a website.  *Thumbs Down*